Tuesday, 29 January 2008

Going Out Pass


I request permission for a leave of absence from my marital home for the following period:

Date Time of Departure Time of Return:

Should permission be granted, I do solemnly swear to only visit the locations stated below. nor shall I speak to another female other than those listed without gaining oral permission to do so from my better half. Nor shall I consume above the allocated volume of alcohol without first phoning for a taxi, a pizza or ordering a tandoori. I understand that even if permission is granted my wife/partner retains the right to be pissed off with me the following day for no valid reason what so ever. In addition I confirm I will continue to wear any items of female clothing found about my person

Amount of alcohol allowed (units):

Locations likely to be visited:

Females likely to be encountered:

Strength of curry permitted:

I am a low life. I know who wears the trousers in our home, and it ain't me. I promise to abide by your rules and regulations. I understand that this is going to cost me a fortune in chocolates and flowers. You reserve the right to obtain and use my credit cards in my absence. I hereby promise not to sleep overnight on a park bench next to a tramp (or in an alley) On my way home I will not pick a fight with a person who only exists in my inebriated mind, nor shall i conduct in depth discussions with said entity.

I declare that to the best of my knowledge (of which I have none) the above information is correct



This decision is not open to negotiation other than on my terms

Permission for my husband/partner to be away for the period

Date Time of Departure Time of Return


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