Sunday, 29 November 2009

Accident & Emergency

Wivey 3rds would like to send their best wishes to Andy Ware after his recent microsurgery.

We understand that Andy was rushed into hospital last week after Sarah noticed an unusual swelling late at night.

Dr Willie Finder a spokesperson for the hospital said ' After initial assessment we realized the hands on approach was not an option and called in the microsurgery team.'

Nurse Vi Agra who helped Andy complete his admission form commented ' The operation went and we would not expect anything otherwise due to Andy's Teetotal, non smoking healthy lifestyle'

Other Medical News

After breaking down at half time recently whilst refeering a match Pete Thompson visited his Doctor.

When his Doctor requested a urine sample Thomo handed over his underpants.

Mike 'Elmer Fudd' Phillips

The has been a rumour going around that Mike Phillips has actually managed to shoot a fox and a rabbit.

Today we can reveal that this rumour is true, but the taxidermnist threatened court action unless mike replaced his shop window.

Friday, 27 November 2009

'World's worst' e-fit sparks arrest

Ivor's Comment' I'm not sure they got the right Man'

Bolivian police managed to track down a man wanted for murder from what was described as the world's worst photo-fit.

Officials issued an appeal for help, and one neighbour drew a picture of what she believed the suspect looked like - though many other people have said her drawing resembles nothing more than the scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz.

The picture, more reminiscent of a child's school drawing than a piece of forensic evidence, consists of a pair of eyes, lopsided lips, a broomstick-shaped nose, and straight eyebrows topped with hair resembling a thatched roof.

Monday, 9 November 2009

What lies beneath?

Apparently the vast majority of Scotsmen still choose to wear nothing beneath their kilts, according to a survey out today.

A survey of men north of the border revealed that 69 per cent of kilt-wearers prefer to "go commando".

Of the remainder, 14 per cent said they wore boxers and 10 per cent chose briefs - with 7 per cent admitting to falling into the rather ambiguous "other" category. One man admitted wearing a thong with a Batman motif.

Researchers found that a large number of Scotsmen often made up their minds on the basis of how formal the occasion was. Many preferred to wear underwear for occasions such as weddings, while on less formal outings such as rugby matches they went without.

Do we think Ben is a thong man?