Wednesday, 25 February 2009

Public Servants

"Give me a sentence about a public servant", asked Ben Parnell to one of his Bridgwater pupils.

The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant."

Ben took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant means?" he asked.

"Sure", said the young student confidently. "It means 'carrying a child'.

Tuesday, 10 February 2009

Fare Revenge

An man catches a taxi home one evening and the cabbie charges him almost double the usual fare and when he complains the driver becomes abusive.

The man resolves to get his revenge if he comes across this taxi driver again.

A week later the man goes to get a cab home and notices the driver from the week before is third in the taxi rank.He strolls up and gets in the first cab, once inside he tells the Nick Wickham that he doesn’t have any cash but if he takes him home he’ll give him a blow job. Nick goes mad and kicks him out of his cab.

The man now gets into the second cab and makes Flicky the same proposition: a blow job for a lift home. Flicky also refuses and kicks him out.

So now the man gets into the third taxi, the guy who ripped him off, and asks to be dropped a few blocks away.

As the cab drives off the smiles at Flicky and Nick and gives a big thumbs up…

Tuesday, 3 February 2009

Advice on Alcohol

Martin Aplin on the touchline at North Petherton with two twelve year old girls.

CHILDREN should not be given any alcohol before they turn 15, parents have been warned. Britain's chief medical officer Sir Liam Donaldson said yesterday that between the ages of 15 and 18 youngsters should drink no more than once a week and only then under strict adult supervision.

He advised that parents who let their children have the odd tipple could be putting them at risk of brain damage and depression, stunting their growth and can cause memory problems.

Some parents are known to give children as young as five alcohol at home. Many families believe alcohol at mealtimes can encourage a responsible attitude in older offspring.

But Sir Liam yesterday said this practice was misguided and "middle class". He said the advice, the first in Europe and possibly the world, was being issued to help clear up parental confusion on safe levels of childhood drinking.

'A lot of people ask me what is wrong with giving children a glass of pinot noir watered down from an early age,' he said

'There is an extremely strongly held belief among middle class parents that it must work'

'But there is no evidence either way. The danger of any misguided attempt to ply children with alcohol is that they get the taste for drinking.'

Sunday, 1 February 2009

Lookalikes - Ben 'Henry' Parnell

Henry would not permit his photo to be used unless we allowed him to wear a disguise in case in went out in public and was mistaken for a teacher.