Tuesday, 21 March 2006

Andy Ware's Comeback

Andy Ware's recent rugby comeback that lasted five minutes was blamed on passive coffee inhalation that sobered him up .

Recent research has revealed that many people are in danger of inhaling coffee vapours that often contain a lot of caffeine. Mr Mike Phillips a medical professional said "This is known as Second Hand Caffeine."
Andy is now try to get the Bear to set aside a "Non Caffeine Section" for those of us who don't want to suffer the effects of inhaling "Second Hand Caffeine." He claims that customers could unknowingly suffer from withdrawal the following day, even though they didn't drink any decaffeinated coffee!

This is a potentially serious health problem and should not be taken lightly. Contact your health professional if you believe you are at risk

Sunday, 12 March 2006

Wivey Ladies Lates Opponents

We have been given an exclusive on Wivey ladies latest opponents, Mambie and Asato the Western Lowland Gorillas from Paignton Zoo.

Zoo spokesman Phil Knowling said: "They really have fun, but they can play rough. Their ball-juggling skills are pretty impressive, but they did bite each other and the ball occasionally, which is not generally considered good practice in a rugby game, but that's enough about Wivey ladies the gorillas behaved impeccable"

A Wivey ladies spokesperson commented " That it was unusual to play against anyone with hairier legs than most of the Wivey ladies three-quarters " and another has emailed me pointing out Asato the gorilla's resemblance to Stuart Norman.