THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

1. Innovative
2. Preliminary
3. Anaesthetist
4. Cinnamon
5. Chrysanthemum

THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

1. Specificity
2. Rhipidistian-Amphibian Transition
3. Anti-constitutionalistically
4. Transubstantiate
5. Sphygmomanometer

THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

01. Thanks, but I don't want to have sex. (Wivey Colts)
02. Nope, no more booze for me. (Andy Ware)
03. Sorry, but you're not really my type. (Martin Broome)
04. Mac Donalds? No thanks, I'm not hungry. (Stuart Norman)
05. Good evening, officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight? (Rock)
06. Oh, I couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing karaoke. (Wivey Ladies)
07. I'm not interested in fighting you. (Mike Philips)
08. Thank you, but I won't make any attempt to dance, I have no coordination. I'd hate to look like a fool. (Rob Aplin)
09. Where is the nearest toilet? I refuse to hurl in the street. (Daryl Smith)
10. I must be going home now as I have work in the morning. (Bloody Lying School Teachers)

Michael Eavis: Glastonbury Goers Are Too Old

Michael Eavis believes that there were too many old people at this year’s Glastobury Festival.
The farmer wants to attract a younger audience to the Worthy Farm extravaganza, saying that the 2007 crowd was too “middle-class” and too “respectable.”


He told the Metro: “We’re trying to get the youngsters back – the 16, 17 and 18 year-olds - because numbers were down this year. People say we’re getting middle class, which is stretching it a bit far, but we’re attracting a lot more people in their 30s and 40s.”

Mr Eavis continued: “These kids add so much to the flavour of it and should have a lot of fun but we’re getting the 30 and 40-year-olds in, which changes the character of it.
"The demographic is changing and it’s slightly worrying. We might lose the fascination the show has for the public.

"The people who now come have the right attitude, they grin and bear the mud. They’re fantastically well mannered and polite, and respectable, but they do change the nature of the show."

However, Eavis admitted that the problem was partly Glastonbury’s fault with the complicated ticketing system they employ.

He added that internet users are "likely to be older people, with the money for the fast connections.




"By selling 40% of tickets through phone lines, kids will be able to use their mobile phones to get tickets."

Ode to Martin Broome

Positive proof that Martin Broome does do some work:

I'm the farmer's scarecrow, I scare away the birds,

I keep the farmer's corn safe without any words.

But when Halloween comes I jump out of the ground

And scare the boys and girls when they come walking 'round.

Binge drinking adults 'are normal'

Many children think adults who binge drink are behaving normally, according to a new survey. The study questioned 15 seventeen to 50 year-old children who play for Wiveliscombe 3rd team about their perceptions of adult alcohol consumption

A third questioned by researchers said they believed five or more glasses of wine in one night was normal for adults. More than a quarter of children thought drinking four pints of beer in an evening was usual. 60% told researchers people drink alcohol to forget about their problems.

Stephen Burgess, National Director of Life Education said: "As educationalists, health workers, the media, advertisers or simply parents we must take these results seriously and consider carefully the messages we are sending out.

"We need to look at what role models we wish to provide and to make sure children understand that a healthy life does not involve excessive drinking, unless your a school teacher on an inset day"

Last month it emerged more than one of these children are seen in hospital at least five days a week and others on a regular basis with alcohol-related problems. For example: returning home pissed to their wives and partners. .

First photos of uncontacted tribe

Painted warriors from one of Brazil's last uncontacted tribes have been photographed for the first time.

They were spotted in Brazil's far western Amazon jungle near the Peruvian border.

The photos were taken on flights over the Ethno-Environmental Protected Area along the Envira River in the remote Acre state, the National Indian Foundation or Funai said.

The photos show "strong and healthy" warriors, six huts and a large planted area. It is not known to which tribe they belong but they are thought to be related to the Aplin and Lockyer families.

Funai does not make contact with the Indians and prevents invasions of their land, to ensure total autonomy for the isolated tribes, Funai said.

"We did the overflight to show tribe's houses, to show they are there, to show they exist," said Mr Meirelles.

"This is very important because there are some who doubt their existence."

UK based charity Survival International said the Indians are in danger from illegal logging in Peru.

This is driving uncontacted tribes over the border and could lead to conflict with the estimated 500 uncontacted Indians now living on the Brazilian side.

There are more than 100 uncontacted tribes worldwide, most of them in Brazil and Peru or Wellington, the group said.

Survival director Stephen Corry called for their territory to be protected by international law.