Professor Stuart Norman , of the Institute for Studies, said: "It's natural to be afraid, but we are 99% certain that the shiny, yellow ball means us no harm.
"Our computer modelling suggests it will encourage plant growth and pollination, as well as leading to a significant increase in white wine, ice cream and nipples as women remove their brassieres in what we think will be some sort of sacrificial offering.
"Indeed I advise, young women to remove as much of their clothing as possible while the shiny ball is visible, otherwise it could kill them. It totally could."
Wiveliscome 3rd team and Daryl Smith are not encouraged to expose the 'Man Boobs' though.Professor Norman added: "Don't waste your time trying to touch it because, as far as we have been able to determine, it is quite a long way away.
"Possibly as far away as the moon, or Bristol."
