Thursday, 21 June 2007

Wivey's Ambassador for Stirring Up Trouble

After being ignored in the Queens birthday honours list Ivor Biggun has accepted an offer by the United Nations to be the newly created Ambassador for Stirring Up Trouble in Wiveliscombe and the rest of the UK, it has been disclosed.

Mr. Bigun narrowly beat other candidates former Wivey 3rds player John Darlow, Tony Lockyer and 'Complete Twat' Mike Phillips. A member of the Interview Panel said:"We were particularly impressed at Mr. Bigguns's wide and varied credentials in the field of stirring up trouble. With Mr Lockyer we actually lost count of how many fights he has started so had to disqualify him. Although we considered Mr. Darlow, he simply didn't come close. We felt that he didn't really Stir Up enough Trouble, was too ginger and had gone too soft. As for Mr.Phillips, well, it was a close call between him and Mr. Biggun. Mr. Phillips has Stirred Up a lot of small troubles but never finishes what he starts."

A beaming Ivor biggun later emerged from the Rugby club toilets in Wiveliscombe and said "I am proud to receive this honour and distinction, and particularly proud that these accolades fall on a Wivey person. I have also done my best to Stir Up Trouble on behalf of my country and hope to continue to be able to do so."

As Ambassador for Stirring Up Trouble, Mr. Biggun is likely to be kept posted on events in Wivey's Basra (Kingsmead Close) in Southern Wiveliscombe, and has been reported as offering to arrange to have large concentric circles to be painted on the roof of the worst properties.

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