'Beer goggles' effect explained

Alcohol is not the only factor in the beer goggles formula. Scientists believe they have worked out a formula to calculate how "beer goggles" affect a drinker's vision.

The drink-fuelled phenomenon is said to transform supposedly "ugly" people into beauties - until the morning after.

Researchers at Manchester University say while beauty is in the eye of the beer-holder, the amount of alcohol consumed is not the only factor.

Additional factors include the level of light in the pub or club, the drinker's own eyesight and the

room's smokiness.

The distance between two people is also a factor.

KEY TO FORMULA
An = number of units of alcohol consumed
S = smokiness of the room (graded from 0-10, where 0 clear air; 10 extremely smoky)
L = luminance of 'person of interest' (candelas per square metre; typically 1 pitch black; 150 as seen in normal room lighting)
Vo = Snellen visual acuity (6/6 normal; 6/12 just meets driving standard)
d = distance from 'person of interest' (metres; 0.5 to 3 metres)

They all add up to make the aesthetically-challenged more attractive, according to the formula
.

The formula can work out a final score, ranging from less than one - where there is no beer goggle effect - to more than 100.

Nathan Efron, Professor of Clinical Optometry at the University of Manchester, said: "The beer goggles effect isn't solely dependent on how much alcohol a person consumes, there are other influencing factors at play too.

"For example, someone with normal vision, who has consumed five pints of beer and views a person 1.5 metres away in a fairly smoky and poorly lit room, will score 55, which means they would suffer from a moderate beer goggle effect."

The research was commissioned by eyecare firm Bausch & Lomb PureVision.
A poll showed that 68% of people had regretted giving their phone number to someone to whom they later realised they were not attracted.

A formula rating of less than one means no effect. Between one and 50 the person you would normally find unattractive appears less "visually offensive".

Non-appealing people become suddenly attractive between 51 and 100. At more than 100, someone not considered attractive looks like a super model.

Ginger Alert

Rumours suggust that the old 'Ginger Ninja' John Darlow is having to die his hair ginger after at outbreak of grey hair appeared om the top of his head

A spokesperson for Gingers For Justice commented

'John has ginger hair and is very proud of it! He is fed up with the piss taking that he gets because of his ginger hair and thinks it is about time he set the record straight... You shouldn't judge a book by its cover and you shouldn't judge him by the colour of his hair.'

John whether or not you know what a book is you will always be the 'Ginger Tosser' to us!

New 3rd team signing

Wivey 3rds rugby captain Rob Aplin has found what he considers to be a vital asset to take the team forward into the forthcoming season after the performance against Barnstaple this weekend.

Dia the donkey who bears many similarities to Mike Phillips was located in a RSPCA center near Weston, and has all the necessary skills required to fit easily in the Wivey 3rds Squad.

Dubbed the "New Mike Phillips" he will fit in really well', said Rob. Although his tackling seems to be a bit weak at present, his place kicking is superb. Naturally he will look a bit odd on the field as he will face away from the ball at penalties and conversions, as he can only kick backwards but after our place kickers Saturday he can't do much worse.

Students Filmed By Teachers

Wiveliscombe internet watchers today have condemned the posting of videos of school pupils in humiliating situations by teachers.Some of the postings on well known video sites have shown pupils in humiliating circumstances. In one, a pupil was shown attending school,awake and handing in his homework assignment on time.

The pupil concerned has been ridiculed so much that he was last seen outside the local off license.

An unnamed pupil commented "These videos should be banned and the Teachers concerned brought to justice"

One teacher from Wivey told us that he regularly films school children handing in completed assignments many of them receiving good marks, some as high as D grade.

"It's about time teachers got their own back. We are bored and there is nothing to do around here" He continued

The teachers seem to split into two main gangs and hang around staffrooms, pubs and libraries and drinking homemade wine.

Police are said to be not bothered and people with information are asked not to let them know as they are far to busy and only visit Wivey every other week.